Friday, March 29, 2013

Dude, We've been driving a long time so...

Fuller street.  Gurnee, IL.  Fairly long street with rolling terrain.  Small shoulders, has some traffic typically on it.    It comes about 3/4 mile into a run from my house.    By the time I hit it, all systems are go, I get into my running zone and veg out.  (Do people still say that?)   



Ok so like I'm saying  I get into this zone, and am hitting my splits.   ok ya "GOT IT!"  as the next mile clicks on my GPS watch.   Now I just have to stay in my zone and keep this up.  Ok all systems go, and......

A van full of people passes by me,  the van looks something like this.


A little odd but hey cool retro van!

 They turn around and then pull up roll down window,  a plume of funny smoke is coming out of the sunroof, and the drivers window.      "Uh hey mannnnnn"   the driver says in my direction.

 I'm thinking "I'm in my zone,  I have headphones on, I'm hitting my targets, can I just IGNORE them?"

Driver:  "Uh hey MMAAAANNNNN!  Like UM EXCUSE ME???"   the driver shouts at me.

I think  "Sure,  I'll just go right ahead and stop my run, just to give you directions....whatever...." 

Maybe this will be quick....

 "I mean I'm sure its going to be like how do I get to Six flags (  1/2 mile from where I was)  or how do I get on the Toll road (also close by) "

So I stop my run, and sweating profusely, I'm telling myself to be patient.

Driver says the inevitable:    "Um I need like directions"

Me:  Ok sure where to?

Driver:  Wisconsin State fair

Me:  uhhhh huh? did I hear you right?  did you say Wisconsin State fair?  (patience evaporating....)

Driver:  YES!  so is it like around here?

Me:  You do know you are in Illinois right?? (insert planes trains and automobiles joke) 

Driver:   Um no..  We've been driving a long time so.

Me:     obviously you do not have a GPS or a map of any kind huh.

Driver:  Dude we've been driving a long time...

Me: (I must be on camera or something)   OK first thing you gotta understand.  you are in ILLINOIS not Wisconsin.   So step one drive over the border.
 
Driver:  we've been driving a long time...

Me:  I think its like past Milwaukee.

Driver:  we've been driving a long time...

Me: Can you please turn down that Dueling banjo music so you can hear me??   Past Milwaukee means its over FIFTY miles from here.    (how the hell is he going to find it when he doesn't even seem to know the difference between Milwaukee Metro area versus Chicago?   No frigging map.)

Driver:  we've been driving a long time...

Me: Ok dude Gotta run.......

Driver:  Thanks mannnnnnnnn



Me:   (I bet he LIVES in that van down by the river somewhere...)

Ok I'm not nice I guess.