Sarah gets a wedding proposal

Sarah gets a wedding proposal

Ran across this via facebook "moments"  Its from April 2012 (Sarah was 10)

Last night I took Sarah to her Schools Open house....



Sarah: "That boy over there wants to MARRY me!"

Me:  "Is there a paper bag anywhere I can breathe in?"

Sarah: "Oh DADDY!"

Me: "You do remember my rule that you can't get married till you are 45...Right?"

Sarah: "HE wants to marry me.  I don't want to marry HIM!"

Me: "OH ok... <feeling better> ummm why not??"

Sarah: "Wellllll he's not very confident.... He hesitates when he talks."

Me: "Really?  SO that's it huh!"

Sarah: "He also puts his hand down inside the back of his pants. picks his nose and eats it, SOooo ya not really my type"

Me:  "I should think those things would have been FIRST on your list"

Rockford "TheVizsla Files"

 Rockford "TheVizsla Files"

It's hard to imagine Rockford as small as he is in these pictures.  He is grown up now.

Rockford is a VIZSLA not an easy thing to remember how to spell.  The Vizsla is often described as the "Velcro Vizsla." Most dogs are affectionate, but this medium-size hunting dog is ESPECIALLY attached to his people.

Rockford with his brothers and sister

Rockford was born with a broken tail defect.  The breeder docked his tail and gave us $500 off so we would sign off that we will never breed him.  We had no intention on doing that. 

Rockford is pure bred. This was important to us because of the Vizsla Characteristics. 
We wanted to have the best chance at having the BEST dog in the world.  I had done much research to make sure he would be super compatible with our family.   I can be quite picky.

"His velcro nature has to do with his past: the Vizsla was developed in Hungary to be both a pointer and retriever who would work close to the hunter, never ranging too far away. That trait is still seen in today's Vizsla, who prefers to be leaning against your leg or serving as a foot warmer. If having a dog shadow you all day would annoy you, choose a different breed."

  -http://dogtime.com/dog-breeds/vizsla

Rocky "velcro-ing" with Melissa

Eileen had always wanted a dog and I honestly never did.  The girls were at an age where a dog would be a great thing for them.     On both of these accounts, it was important to me that whichever dog we get that it would be smart, loyal, and incredibly loving.   Check, Check, and CHECK!

Rockford Running!

I wanted a dog that I could run with.    Can you run with a Vizsla?  umm YES!  They can run better (longer, not faster) than a greyhound!     Awesome distance runners they can run 10 miles with you and then when you are "pooped" and need to take a nap, they can run around the backyard all afternoon.  

Rockford does love to run around the backyard.  but nothing he does is aimless.   When he is outside, he is "Hunting".   He has created about 7 observation post areas, that he runs to in a pattern.   Once there he will stay still analyzing all that he can see.   then suddenly jumps around 180 degrees to make sure nothing is sneaking up from behind.    Then on to the next post.    Over and over for hours he does this.  it makes him REALLY happy to do his "job"      He is mainly on watch for Angry birds.  And IF you are a bird  watch out!  cause he is much faster than you apparently give him credit for. 
He has taken out at least 7 that we are aware of.  

Rockford on patrol/watch in the backyard

 I'm not a fan of shedding hair.
Viszla's have very short hair and while they do shed a lil bit, it's not really noticeable.  

  I don't like "The doggie smell"    These dogs do not smell!!  

  They are very clean, they clean themselves like a cat!  

Rockford and his best friend  Dante the cat.

We do/have two cats so I was hoping for a dog that would look to get along with the cats.  And he DOES!  well one of them anyway.   Our cat Dante is his best friend.  They hang together, play and groom each other.  it's super cute.  

  Once Dante's REAL brother (Dallas on left in pic below)  picked a fight with Dante. 

One little issue with that...  Dante's big buddy Rockford.   OMG Rockford was in his crate when this cat fight went down and flung himself against the door to his crate again and again trying to get after Dallas to protect his best friend.   Lots of barking and heated tempers that night.     Rockford has NEVER forgotten this.  Likely he never will.    

Anytime there is even a hint of an issue, Rockford chases Dallas down/away to make sure his lil buddy is safe.    I can only imagine what would happen if someone broke into our house.   As gentle of a spirit that Rockford is, he can be intimidating. 

He is also very brave.  I could see this when he was a puppy at the dog park.  

Rockford warning me about all of the dangers in his forest!

 

Rockford aims to please  It's his goal in life.  He is very kind.  Never want to raise your voice with him as he is all about the positives.  a total sweetheart.  
Rockford is a very social boy and will always look to be friendly, polite and playful sending a message to all that above all else he means well. 

Rockford's first day at the dog park.

   His good looks and great personality has not gone unnoticed by the ladies.   But you should know Rockford DOES have a girlfriend (Bailey) so even though he does not get to see her much, he is in love and very much taken.

Rocky and his girl Bailey!

Random Vizsla with Random Hunter

I remember a little convo with the Breeder it was the day we took him home. (Top picture)

Not a fan of hunting. Its possible that its a necessary thing. I am not a vegan but I could never hunt. Its kinda funny that I have a pure bred hunting dog.

Breeder: "Soo the first time you take him hunting... "
Me: um that is not going to happen
Breeders: "Well its a good idea in case you decide to later"
Me: I dont even have a gun ok??

 Breeder: "You might?"
Me: I won't! 

Breeder: "Why the hell do you want this dog then?"
Me: We were meant to be together!

So there you have it.   I'm telling you.   You only get to have a few dogs in your lifetime.   It's a rare thing when you find the perfect match.    I did! 

Get yourself a Vizsla!   You won't regret it.

Woof!  :-P

How was the hot lunch, Sarah?

A conversation with Sarah about the hot lunch today at school. (2-15-2012)

I tried very hard to type this out as she spoke. its in her words.

Me:  "Sarah soooo how was the hot lunch today at school?"

Sarah:
"I didn't have my hot lunch from school today cause like you know it was a turkey sub, and the bread or something smelled WEIRD!. Weird ya know like gagging weird... like you want to step away from it weird!!! 

 So then ya know, my friend Ashley? she said like ask the nice lunch lady and she
will get you a NEW lunch, and I'm like um ok.... I asked/told the really nice lunch lady..
My lunch smells like WEIRD!"

Me:  "Did she give you a new lunch?"

Sarah:  "When I asked her to smell it. she was just like It doesn't smell that weird!"
At first she smelt it like 3 inches away, then 2 inches away and then I'm just like smell it! like right here closer!! (hands to nose) 

Then shes like I'm not going to do that!! then she smelled it anyways.  Then she went away, and she brought this other lunch lady and then they both came over and I was just like, SMELL IT! to the other lunch lady, Um then she smelled it too and said its just fiiiiiine. And before that I asked all my friends to smell it and at first they're just like it smells WEIRD!!
And my friend Imani, she smelled it too and she said "you know um it touched my nose!
After the lunch ladies smelled it and said it didn't smell that weird, my friends changed their minds and thought it was ok. And then it smelled better to me too. So i tested it and took just a bite.
Then i realized it was the bread. So then..... I put only the ham"
 

Me:  <interrupting> "I thought you had Turkey??"

Sarah: "Oh yeah so I put the turkey in my friends Hannah's face and asked her to smell it. Then I said now SMELL the bread!   She said um I guess they both smell just fine. Then I just decided to throw it all away.

There's the guy ya know? he washes the dishes at the school, and so I still had cheese on my plate cause it didn't fall into the garbage, so I scraped off the cheese right before  gave it to him and he saw that.     He was like awww thank you for cleaning the cheese off!    I mean I ate a little bit of it. So then I just drank milk . And then we were throwing around a plastic wrap for the straw, like as in basketball pretty much. So then after that the sign for choir went up and I had to go."

Minions and Marijuana

Things Sarah says

Conversation with Sarah re:  "How was school today?"  (few years ago)



Me: "How was school today?" 

Sarah: " See my "minion" stamp on my hand?"
 
Me: "Oh ya pretty cool, How did you get that?"

Sarah: "Some guy in the lunch line gave it to me. But don't worry"

Me: "Huh worry about what?"

Sarah: Well... At first I couldn't understand him, he asked me if I wanted blah blah, So I said NO!

Me: "Ok go on."

Sarah: "Then he said "are you sure?? it's minion" But I still didnt really hear him so I said NO!"

Me: "Should I be recording this??"
 
Sarah: "Ha Dad no. anyways, So he asks the guy in front of me if HE wanted a minion stamp. This time I heard it. SO then I said I'd take one."

Me: "Why did you not say yes to begin with?"

Sarah: "I NEVER say yes if someone asks me something at first. Cause they could be asking me to smoke Marijuana!!"

Me: "WHAT???? Ha ha I think..... But yes good fundamentals there, just keep in mind, later I will not accept the answer that you smoked pot cause you accidentally said yes when you did not hear clearly. K?"

Made for TV movie special

 

 Way back in 1973 when I was a 10 year old, I walked to Eugene Field Elementary school one day (April 25, 1973 as it turns out)  and got to the playground.

I was then immediately surrounded by a mob of kids.

   They were all excitedly shouting   "We're going to watch you on TV tonight!"  

Me: "What are you talking about?"

Crowd: "It's in the TV Guide!"

Me: "Must be a mistake"

Crowd:  "No my mom told me it's about your story"

Me: "Really? I have a story?  Could this have happened somehow without me knowing it?"

Crowd: " "You are going to be FAMOUS!"

Me: <thinking> "Hmmm Maybe this is how that works?"

All day long kids and even teachers kept coming up to me and telling me how they were going to watch me and my story on TV that night.   After a while I started to think that maybe I did have a special story somehow and that it would be on TV that night.

I ran home after school and found the TV guide that indeed showed that my life's story was going to be on that night as a TV Movie Special   "The Going up of David Lev"    It was a story about a 10 year old boy. 

With Brandon Cruz as David (Cruz was the kid in "Courtship of Eddie's father"

also with Melvyn Douglas and Claire Bloom

The Going Up of David Lev IMDB

MOM! MOM!!!!!    I'm going to be on TV tonight!!!!

Mom: "No you're not..."

Me: "But it says right here."

Mom: "That isn't you."

Me: "It's about a 10 year old named David Lev  I'm 10 and am David Lev so..."

Mom: "Listen kid it isn't about you ok?"

"It's about a Jewish boy in Israel, Lev is a common last name there and so is David, 

it's like John Smith over here"

Me:  I don't know any other Lev's and If there are so many David Lev's out there why does dad keep telling me I have to keep the family name alive?

Mom: Sorry to shatter your illusions here.  

So we watched about half of the movie on tv till I realized it wasn't my story and that the movie kinda sucked.  Then we changed the channel and watched something else....

Me, Monica Raymund and the women's bathroom

Typically while on location bathrooms are hastily marked or are unisex.   They can be difficult to locate in general.  Really I usually have to ask where it even is.   

I was playing as an office worker with 4 ladies in my group on the set of  "Chicago Fire" and had to go to the bathroom pretty badly.

I just noticed that one of the ladies in my group had just come back from the bathroom.

Me: "I see you found the bathroom"

Lady: "YES! been drinking a lot of coffee"

Me: "Where is it?

Lady: "Oh, just down that hall over there, make a right, then another right and it's right there can't miss it"

I walk down the hallway, made a right, and another right, I BURST through the door!  And BAM it's me and Monica Raymund who is adjusting her blouse.. 

Monica: "Um were you looking for the Men's room" she says very nicely. 

Me:  "I err um that is to say uhhh ya"

Monica:  "Lot's of stalls here it's just me and you, go ahead, I don't mind"

Me: "umm noooo thanks"

Monica: "Do you want me to show you where the Men's room is?"

Me: "No I think I'll figure it out"

Monica:  "I'll speak with production about marking this better, see you on set!"

Me: <Thinking>  "That's it, I'm so getting kicked off this show..." 

I feel comfortable posting this as she was very nice/sweet about it....  

The Spanish Simpsons episode

As nearly everyone else in the 90's me and Eileen enjoyed watching "The Simpsons" from time to time.   They had unique humor where sometimes you could not be sure what they would pull next.

For example:  One time they broadcast the show entirely in spanish!!  we watched the entire episode wondering what they were going to do with this.     Afterwards we looked at each other and said "Ok that was weird, I don't get it."  and went off our merry way.

The following week it was a typical episode, and definitely NOT in Spanish.  For a few weeks more all typical episodes.  




And then...  the spanish Simpsons episode returned.    Hey EILEEN!  they are replaying that Spanish Simpsons episode again!?    What the Hell?       We watched about half of it before realizing that it actually was a different episode in Spanish.       

Would they DO this for TWO episodes?  

Why is this even funny?

A friend comes over and we tell him about the Spanish Simpson's episodes.    He says

Umm  Is that a new tv you have there? 

Yes! 

Have you ever heard of SAP?

Second audio program (SAP), also known as secondary audio programming, is an auxiliary audio channel for analog television that can be broadcast or transmitted both over-the-air and by cable television.

Yes.. 

Could you possibly have it set to Spanish?

DOH!!!!!

SNAKES!

As kids in the early 70's we were easily amused.

For example:

Snakes... on the 4th of July, you would burn them & they would coil up and stretch out.....geez we had weird fun.   

So I got these one year to show my girls what great fun we used to have as a kid.  The looks I got back after lighting those suckers up was priceless.

The girls:  "Dad whats gonna happen???!!!"

Me: Umm that's it.

 The girls:  "Nahhh really whats gonna happen?" 

Me: Thats it!

  The girls:  "Quit kidding dad! Whats going to happen?"
Me:  THAT'S IT! Damn it. Ehhh we are gonna go inside and eat ice cream. I quit 4th of July

Vegas Vacation

VEGAS VACATION!

 

In 1995 (or 1996 I forget) Me and Eileen went to Las Vegas for a vacation.  Pete (friend of ours) decided he wanted to fly up and join us.   Pete had always wanted to see Hoover dam.   I had already been there a couple of times on previous trips, and was kinda "Meh" about taking the time to drive out to the damn dam yet again.     Pete REALLY wanted to go.   I said "well if we are going to do this, we need to take the extra long in-depth tour inside the damn dam,  deal?"   I had not managed to do this previously,  it would make things more interesting.     We all agreed 

 

It was going to be a spectacular but HOT day.   For whatever reason, only the earliest tour time slot was available, I booked it.    We arrived early in the morning before the heat, parked, and noticed that there was hardly anyone at the dam cause it was so early.  

We quickly checked things out on top and then    

 headed inside for the damned 2 hour tour. 

 

It was a pretty interesting tour and indeed it took a very long time to go through.

Lots of blah blah blah,  eleventy billion gallons of water blah blah blah can you imagine?  blah blah something something.    Hey I think the damn dam is leaking ha ha  blah blah something words words words.

More words, blah blah something something.

Eventually the tour ended and headed back up to the top and headed outside.   When we got outside there was a mass of humanity all around.    Then we felt the heat like 114 degrees WHAT THE HELL?  Not wanting to fight through the crowds to get back to the car right away,  me and Pete decided we could cool off a little by hanging over the top of the dam and feel the rush of air push us back that occurs when the wind hits the damn and is forced up.   

Eileen at this point is MISERABLE from the heat and decides it's time to stop messing around and make our way through the crowds to get to the car.    LET'S GO! she says..  And thus we start working our way through the crowd single file.    I end up following this tall guy who was wearing green shorts, Hawaiian shirt, straw hat, and carrying a FISHING POLE!     "REALLY" I think to myself.    I'm not a fashionista (fashionito?) or anything, but was thinking "what the Hell?" again.      I can't see where we are going behind this guy when suddenly the crowd parts a lil bit.  I look around and see a movie camera sitting by itself with no one next to it.  I was like "hmmm I wonder what it looks like looking through that camera  so I walk up to it and see what I can see.   No one tries to stop me.   I take a step back as a few of us were still around me including the big dude in the Green shorts and Hawaiian shirt.    I'm thinking maybe they are filming a documentary about the dam.    I go to ask the guy in the green shorts what he thinks, and as I turn towards him, he looks at me.     It's  OMG it's Randy Quaid!    I turn to my left and notice that standing right next to me is a short woman who is shooting me a look like "Who the F*ck are YOU?"  My eyes grow wide and I realize wait a sec! It's Beverly D'Angelo  the mom from VACATION THE MOVIE!

They must be filming a new Vacation movie!!!   AND Just then up the escalator comes Chevy Chase! 

A couple of production assistants come out and push the crowd back including Eileen "Get back!  Back I'm BEGGING YOU!"        No one is telling me I have to leave.  I just stood there.    Chevy Chase starts cracking jokes about how "Chilly it is outside" and how many autographs does he have to sign before he can start charging for them.      We stayed and watched them film a short bit where the family goes down the escalator and into the dam for their Damned tour.

It was a very cool, and very lucky experience.  Eventually I just walked back and out through the crowd found Eileen who had been watching all of this from a distance.    We laughed about it all the way back to our hotel.     That was fun Damn it!

"Oh ya I'm an Ironman"

Some days I'm just really tired for no apparent reason.  No worries, this is not anything new or whatever. It just happens...

Today training was just a 2 mile easy run. Let me tell you I was SLUGGISH!! It was the kind of run where I'm like ugh I'm so tired, can I do this? Then I remember "Oh ya I'm an Ironman!"

WAY back in 2011 I did Ironman Wisconsin. yup 2.4 mile swim, 112 miles on the bike and then ran a freaking marathon. Before actually doing it, it was all about proving something to myself. I should have thought about what would happen if I DID do it.

See it kinda mocks me whenever I think I'm tired and I start making excuses... DUDE you did IRONMAN!!!! WTF!

I'm Freaking tired!! Can't run 2 miles? DUDE WTF!

Can't wake up? ummm DUDE you woke up and then did....

You get the picture.

Same thing happens around the house. Even if I forget, Eileen won't let me.

Cut the Grass?
"Eileen! I'm tired ok?"
"Dude you did Ironman"
Arrggghhhhhhhhhh

It could be worse, I could have also got an Ironman Tattoo.
Then strangers would give me SH*T too!
You know like when the girls are clothes shopping, and somehow I'm roped into going. OMG I'm so TIIIIRRREEEED Maybe if I can sit down in that chair over there. Wake up!!!! What's wrong with you?!!!

Stranger: Dude! You are SNORING! Me:
Me: Well I'm just so tired.
Stranger: Is that an M dot tattoo on your calf?
Me: Arrggghhhhhhhhhh

So what nags at YOU to keep YOU going? let it nag you and drive you. ‪#‎Getitdone‬!

(Not my calf  also not my tattoo!  I don't have one)

Wounded animal defending it's young.

Thoughts while running a recovery (RH knee recovering) paced 2 miler this am:

Testing the injured knee on a short 2 mile neighborhood course. I wanted to make sure to go easy.
In fact, I began this run thinking if anything felt really wrong before a line of demarcation I had plotted, then i would abandon it, and turn around.

"Hmmm its ok I guess.... IDK looks like maybe continue" I told myself after passing the line.

As I went along I began thinking about what led to the knee issue to begin with. (really too much too soon)
I started thinking about my form.  I had Achilles tear injury some years ago,  Was referred to a physical therapist who then was helping me on my road to recovery.
I had not been allowed to run for what felt like eternity.

Me: "Can I run now?"
PT:   "No"

3 days later,
"Can I run now?" No

"Can I run now?" No

"Can I run now?" Yes.... right here, right now, one mile on the treadmill over there,
"Yay!" (can't wait to show off)

"SOoooo, what do you think??" (I said proudly)

PT:  "Dave-<clears throat, takes time to choose words carefully> You are a miracle of adaptation!"

ME: "Say what? is that good?"

PT:  Do you ever watch nature films?

ME:   "Well ya where are you going with this?"     

PT:  You run like a wounded animal defending it's young....

Bison mother protecting young

"WHAT????"
Your form is horrible. It's amazing to me that you are able to run as fast as you do. This being said,  it's also how you ended up seeing me.   BUT don't stop running, just work on your support exercises cause you will really need that to keep from seeing me in the future.
Whenever you do have an issue just "modify" and do something else.

Ok so I had that in my mind as I continued to run and by the time I was finished with that thought, I realized I was running pretty well and things felt good.

By the last 1/2 mile I was running fairly hard cause well yes I can be that stupid. BUT it did feel good and the knee cooperated soooo.  

Sarah's 7th Grade Report Card

Sarah:   So I got all A's on my report card! 

Me:        Awesome!!

 


Sarah:   Honor Roll... 

Me:        Proud of u kid!      

Sarah:   I'm reading at like college level

Me:        I know!  I'm the one that drives u to the library every week for more books. 


Sarah:   Oh ya, the kids in my hall voted me "Most Friendly"

Me:        Is that all u got??

Sarah:    Ummm 

Me:         Well?


Sarah:    Ive already finished the summer homework packet.

Me:         OVERACHIEVER...

Sarah:    Why aren't u happier?

Me:         You aren't leaving me with much to tell u to work on :-(   I'm the parent you know...

Sarah:     Please put that plate in the dishwasher...

"I stole a GU from a spectator during the 2010 Chicago Marathon"

Remembering the 2010 Chicago Marathon:

I had answered a question online regarding GU (Gel) on the course for the 2011 event

In 2009 I ran with only 2 GU packets, thought it to be enough for 2010
"Officially" there was one at the mile 17 aid station.
"Unofficially" there was ANOTHER gel location around mile 21
Things can get rather primal during a race event.
I needed a gel (GU) VERY badly... I had used the one I got on the course, plus the two I had carried. I looked EVERYWHERE for one while I was running, but could not find one. I even asked other runners if I could have theirs. 

Runner #1 that has what looks to be 20 GU pinned everywhere to his shorts shirt, hat, belt.

Me: "Um can u please spare a GU?"

Runner #1: "DUDE I've been running with these for 20 miles!, I'm not your SAG wagon!"

Me: "$5?"

Runner #2: "See ya!"

Me: "So looks like you have lots of GU there"

Runner #3 "I need every one of them"

Me: "But I only brought 2!"

Runner #3 "Idiot"
Wondering what I was going to do, as I could feel that my nemesis let's call it "CRAMPZILLA" about to come visit me.
Often spectators give things to the runners. Orange slices/water/candy/pretzels etc.
I spot a spectator hiding a gel in her hand standing next to the course along the curb.
I didn't know if she was offering it to anyone, or if it was a rendezvous point for a runner she was supporting or what. But when I saw it in her hand, I decided I had to make it mine.
I angled over to the side of the street, ran past, and without breaking stride snatched it out of her hand!
Laughing maniacally, I was fumbling to open the thing while running,
I turned back to see her reaction, it was then I realized she had NOT been offering it to me, I had STOLE IT! After ripping the thing open and pouring it down my gullet as fast as I could, I started to gag on it cause it was double espresso and I can't stand that flavor.
But that nasty thing helped me for the next couple miles before the CRAMPZILLA monster came calling.
So don't know if that helps your friend at all, but it does emphasize the point that you need to carry enough Gel on board so you don't have to steal any from spectators. Not because its the wrong thing to do, its because you don't know what flavor they will have.

Dude, We've been driving a long time so...

Fuller street.  Gurnee, IL.  Fairly long street with rolling terrain.  Small shoulders, has some traffic typically on it.    It comes about 3/4 mile into a run from my house.    By the time I hit it, all systems are go, I get into my running zone and veg out.  (Do people still say that?)   

Ok so like I'm saying  I get into this zone, and am hitting my splits.   ok ya "GOT IT!"  as the next mile clicks on my GPS watch.   Now I just have to stay in my zone and keep this up.  Ok all systems go, and......

A van full of people passes by me,  the van looks something like this.

A little odd but hey cool retro van!

 They turn around and then pull up roll down window,  a plume of funny smoke is coming out of the sunroof, and the drivers window.      "Uh hey mannnnnn"   the driver says in my direction.

 I'm thinking "I'm in my zone,  I have headphones on, I'm hitting my targets, can I just IGNORE them?"

Driver:  "Uh hey MMAAAANNNNN!  Like UM EXCUSE ME???"   the driver shouts at me.

I think  "Sure,  I'll just go right ahead and stop my run, just to give you directions....whatever...." 

Maybe this will be quick....

 "I mean I'm sure its going to be like how do I get to Six flags (  1/2 mile from where I was)  or how do I get on the Toll road (also close by) "

So I stop my run, and sweating profusely, I'm telling myself to be patient.

Driver says the inevitable:    "Um I need like directions"

Me:  Ok sure where to?

Driver:  Wisconsin State fair

Me:  uhhhh huh? did I hear you right?  did you say Wisconsin State fair?  (patience evaporating....)

Driver:  YES!  so is it like around here?

Me:  You do know you are in Illinois right?? (insert planes trains and automobiles joke) 

Driver:   Um no..  We've been driving a long time so.

Me:     obviously you do not have a GPS or a map of any kind huh.

Driver:  Dude we've been driving a long time...

Me: (I must be on camera or something)   OK first thing you gotta understand.  you are in ILLINOIS not Wisconsin.   So step one drive over the border.
 
Driver:  we've been driving a long time...

Me:  I think its like past Milwaukee.

Driver:  we've been driving a long time...

Me: Can you please turn down that Dueling banjo music so you can hear me??   Past Milwaukee means its over FIFTY miles from here.    (how the hell is he going to find it when he doesn't even seem to know the difference between Milwaukee Metro area versus Chicago?   No frigging map.)

Driver:  we've been driving a long time...

Me: Ok dude Gotta run.......

Driver:  Thanks mannnnnnnnn

Me:   (I bet he LIVES in that van down by the river somewhere...)

Ok I'm not nice I guess.

The "Accidental" Carny

July 4th, 2010  UGH! It was a real scorcher. One of those super hot and humid 

Chicago days.

My day  began at 4 AM  as I was getting up to run in another race.  WHAT?? did

you not think there would be something about running in this story???   :)

 The event was the Frontier Days 10k

 I took my position near the front for the start.   The gun goes off and I begin 

running like a bat out of hell.  After mile one I look at my watch and it said 6:25,

Uh oh WAY too fast for me at this distance. I slow it down, but still was running

too fast as I hit the second mile at a 6:40 pace.  This was one of those moments 

like in a cartoon when they run off a cliff, but keep running in mid-air until they

realize "Umm, I can't fly!"

It's only THEN they drop.  So I knew I was done for in this race. Halfway through

mile 3,  I was totally gassed and there was no saving this race with nearly 4 more

miles to go, I dropped out..   :( 

 To say I was upset at myself for being so stupid was an understatement. I had a

long walk while happy runners passed me. Its very humbling....and I hated them.

(just kidding...ok I hated them all that day,  but just that day) I was kicking 

rocks and stuff while muttering obscenities at myself.   I then pigged out on the

after race goodies that I did not deserve, and left.

 I get home tired from the effort, drama, lack of sleep, as well as dealing with 
the heat and humidity.   Demoralized, I slumped into a chair.  Eileen reminds me

 that we are to go to Great Lakes Navy Base soon  for a day/night double header

consisting of a carnival they had at the base, then fireworks at night. "How am I 
supposed to do that?" I wined, crabbed, bitched, and moaned.

"Go pack up the car" Eileen shouted and "make sure to pack the girls fold-able 
camp chairs!"  "And those blankets too!"  One chair was a pink Hannah Montana model.

the other being a purple Dora the explorer version.  

We arrive at the base to find it ABSOLUTELY jammed with a sea of humanity. It takes 

like 45 minutes to park. (not exaggerating)  We had to walk from a lot very far away

and lug those stupid chairs.   "OMG, this sucks!!, this freaking heat sucks! I'm

sweating already, I stink, and most of all I suck for dropping out of that stupid 

race!"       "Are we whining again?"  Eileen asks.

After finally getting to the carnival, we see that tickets of course are needed

for each ride. It cost Eleventy billion dollars to buy enough tix for about half of

what we figured we might need for the day.  DANG!  no rides for me and Eileen I

suppose...besides we have to watch the chairs, blankets etc. 
We took out a fourth mortgage on the house and paid up.      

The place had a bizarre mixture of smells.   I think it was a mix of sweat, 
cotton candy, cigarettes,  funnel cakes, vomit, and cabbage.  Cabbage?  Why do 
carny's always smell like cabbage?   Dunno

The place was crawling with sweaty unhappy people, lines were reeeaaallly loooong 

for everything.

The girls went on a couple of small rides,  I continued to complain.   Ok you get 
the picture.
"Hey Dave, they are selling beer over there." Eileen said.  "THEY ARE? For the love

of God Eileen, please can you get me like two??"  "Sure, now you are saying please

 and thank you to me!"  Awwww c'mon honey pretty please!! 

Thankfully my sweet wife went to the beer tent where there was yet another long line.

We decided that we would meet up at the Ferris wheel.

I lugged the chairs, blankets etc, and the girls as well and we slogged over to the

Wheel.  The girls spent a mini-fortune at a stuffed animal scam along the way.

Mind you I am still tossing out curses,and otherwise not great to be a round. 

We re-group at the Ferris wheel and the carny who operated it looked very much like 
this guy  --------->

On second thought, the guy pictured looks much more professional than the one 

running the wheel the girls were about to get on.  "Um honey? what do you think?" 

Eileen asked. "I mean look at him. is it....safe?"  "Uh I think so"  I said.

The girls got on, and this guy starts up the wheel, and it goes round and round

super duper fast.  Eileen and I looked at each other and asked "like um is it

supposed to go that fast??" "Dunno, but I have never seen one go that speed before!"

I said. "We may need to intervene here."   But just as we planned our assault

their ride came to a stop.   <WHEW>

The girls got off and we pondered our next move. The aforementioned smell

seemed to be following us everywhere as we drifted around. 

I pick a spot to try and sit down for a sec as I had enough of the drama and it was 

time to try and chill out.

The spot I chose happened to be very close to the soon to be infamous "Mardi-Gras 

Mysterio House"   I opened up one of the chairs and hunkered down.
I began to reflect on my race and that's when the turrets syndrome reared its

ugly head.

Eileen and the girls then decided it would be a good time to leave dad alone for a 

bit and get some funnel cakes. Off they went, and there I was left all alone in 

front of the Mysterio House sitting in a pink Hannah Montana kids chair with my

tall Budweiser in the cup-holder.  I'm all sweaty, and probably smelling like 

cabbage myself, while alternating muttering "SON OF A BITCH!" and kicking my feet

at stuff on the ground.      

Around this time, a middle aged woman with an excited kid jumping up and down 
approached me and assertively asked "how many tickets does it cost for the 
Mysterio house?  Umm I dunno?? Two?? I guessed.  "What, you aren't SURE?"   
She then tosses two tickets on my lap, and proceeds to push her kid into the 

Mysterio house. 

 Umm what just happened here?  I shoot the lady a look, turn towards the 

Mysterio house to see who was running this thing, but I didn't see anyone.  
I shake my head, looked down at the ground  grabbed a long sip of my Budweiser,

turn back around to see that a good sized line had formed in front of me. 

That's when it dawned on me.  PPPPFFFFTTT!!! You think I'M The CARNY!!!

People then start tossing tickets my way faster than the cabbage/beer/sweat smell

could dissuade them.  I decide, "Hell just roll with it."   All of a sudden

I'm this guy -------->

Que the music please....

George Thorogood - Who Do You Love 

Tickets are coming my way, a pile of them.  I'm shouting HEY!  you have to be at

THIS tall to go in the Mysterio house!!       YOOO  single file over there! 

Don't make me chase you!     Just random stuff like that! 

Kids are laughing, smiling, running in and out of the house. I'm like  ALRIGHT!!!

Eileen and the girls come back, DADDY!  what are you DOING?   I say WHAT???  you want 

to go in the Mysterio house?  its two tickets.   Melissa says "we are out of tickets"

No worries kiddo  gotcha covered and pulled out my wad of tickets.   WHERE dd you get

those?   First girls let's take a picture. 

 

 

Just then,  the real carny showed up.   He sees all the kids in the house  and starts to go ballistic.     GET OUT!!!    its not FREE!    He starts chasing all the kids out,   I hear the kids 

complaining that they HAD paid that man over there.  

WHOOPS  Kids  TIME TO GO!!!!    We then fled the scene with a few of the tickets flying out in a mini trail behind us.   

If I ever need to get some work as a carny.   I believe I can say I have experience.  

Then it was time for the Fireworks!   The end.