July 4th, 2010 UGH! It was a real scorcher. One of those super hot and humid
Chicago days.
My day began at 4 AM as I was getting up to run in another race. WHAT?? did
you not think there would be something about running in this story??? :)
The event was the Frontier Days 10k
I took my position near the front for the start. The gun goes off and I begin
running like a bat out of hell. After mile one I look at my watch and it said 6:25,
Uh oh WAY too fast for me at this distance. I slow it down, but still was running
too fast as I hit the second mile at a 6:40 pace. This was one of those moments
like in a cartoon when they run off a cliff, but keep running in mid-air until they
realize "Umm, I can't fly!"
It's only THEN they drop. So I knew I was done for in this race. Halfway through
mile 3, I was totally gassed and there was no saving this race with nearly 4 more
miles to go, I dropped out.. :(
To say I was upset at myself for being so stupid was an understatement. I had a
long walk while happy runners passed me. Its very humbling....and I hated them.
(just kidding...ok I hated them all that day, but just that day) I was kicking
rocks and stuff while muttering obscenities at myself. I then pigged out on the
after race goodies that I did not deserve, and left.
I get home tired from the effort, drama, lack of sleep, as well as dealing with
the heat and humidity. Demoralized, I slumped into a chair. Eileen reminds me
that we are to go to Great Lakes Navy Base soon for a day/night double header
consisting of a carnival they had at the base, then fireworks at night. "How am I
supposed to do that?" I wined, crabbed, bitched, and moaned.
"Go pack up the car" Eileen shouted and "make sure to pack the girls fold-able
camp chairs!" "And those blankets too!" One chair was a pink Hannah Montana model.
the other being a purple Dora the explorer version.
We arrive at the base to find it ABSOLUTELY jammed with a sea of humanity. It takes
like 45 minutes to park. (not exaggerating) We had to walk from a lot very far away
and lug those stupid chairs. "OMG, this sucks!!, this freaking heat sucks! I'm
sweating already, I stink, and most of all I suck for dropping out of that stupid
race!" "Are we whining again?" Eileen asks.
After finally getting to the carnival, we see that tickets of course are needed
for each ride. It cost Eleventy billion dollars to buy enough tix for about half of
what we figured we might need for the day. DANG! no rides for me and Eileen I
suppose...besides we have to watch the chairs, blankets etc.
We took out a fourth mortgage on the house and paid up.
The place had a bizarre mixture of smells. I think it was a mix of sweat,
cotton candy, cigarettes, funnel cakes, vomit, and cabbage. Cabbage? Why do
carny's always smell like cabbage? Dunno
The place was crawling with sweaty unhappy people, lines were reeeaaallly loooong
for everything.
The girls went on a couple of small rides, I continued to complain. Ok you get
the picture.
"Hey Dave, they are selling beer over there." Eileen said. "THEY ARE? For the love
of God Eileen, please can you get me like two??" "Sure, now you are saying please
and thank you to me!" Awwww c'mon honey pretty please!!
Thankfully my sweet wife went to the beer tent where there was yet another long line.
We decided that we would meet up at the Ferris wheel.
I lugged the chairs, blankets etc, and the girls as well and we slogged over to the
Wheel. The girls spent a mini-fortune at a stuffed animal scam along the way.
Mind you I am still tossing out curses,and otherwise not great to be a round.
We re-group at the Ferris wheel and the carny who operated it looked very much like
this guy --------->
On second thought, the guy pictured looks much more professional than the one
running the wheel the girls were about to get on. "Um honey? what do you think?"
Eileen asked. "I mean look at him. is it....safe?" "Uh I think so" I said.
The girls got on, and this guy starts up the wheel, and it goes round and round
super duper fast. Eileen and I looked at each other and asked "like um is it
supposed to go that fast??" "Dunno, but I have never seen one go that speed before!"
I said. "We may need to intervene here." But just as we planned our assault
their ride came to a stop. <WHEW>
The girls got off and we pondered our next move. The aforementioned smell
seemed to be following us everywhere as we drifted around.
I pick a spot to try and sit down for a sec as I had enough of the drama and it was
time to try and chill out.
The spot I chose happened to be very close to the soon to be infamous "Mardi-Gras
Mysterio House" I opened up one of the chairs and hunkered down.
I began to reflect on my race and that's when the turrets syndrome reared its
ugly head.
Eileen and the girls then decided it would be a good time to leave dad alone for a
bit and get some funnel cakes. Off they went, and there I was left all alone in
front of the Mysterio House sitting in a pink Hannah Montana kids chair with my
tall Budweiser in the cup-holder. I'm all sweaty, and probably smelling like
cabbage myself, while alternating muttering "SON OF A BITCH!" and kicking my feet
at stuff on the ground.
Around this time, a middle aged woman with an excited kid jumping up and down
approached me and assertively asked "how many tickets does it cost for the
Mysterio house? Umm I dunno?? Two?? I guessed. "What, you aren't SURE?"
She then tosses two tickets on my lap, and proceeds to push her kid into the
Mysterio house.
Umm what just happened here? I shoot the lady a look, turn towards the
Mysterio house to see who was running this thing, but I didn't see anyone.
I shake my head, looked down at the ground grabbed a long sip of my Budweiser,
turn back around to see that a good sized line had formed in front of me.
That's when it dawned on me. PPPPFFFFTTT!!! You think I'M The CARNY!!!
People then start tossing tickets my way faster than the cabbage/beer/sweat smell
could dissuade them. I decide, "Hell just roll with it." All of a sudden
I'm this guy -------->
Que the music please....
George Thorogood - Who Do You Love
Tickets are coming my way, a pile of them. I'm shouting HEY! you have to be at
THIS tall to go in the Mysterio house!! YOOO single file over there!
Don't make me chase you! Just random stuff like that!
Kids are laughing, smiling, running in and out of the house. I'm like ALRIGHT!!!
Eileen and the girls come back, DADDY! what are you DOING? I say WHAT??? you want
to go in the Mysterio house? its two tickets. Melissa says "we are out of tickets"
No worries kiddo gotcha covered and pulled out my wad of tickets. WHERE dd you get
those? First girls let's take a picture.
Just then, the real carny showed up. He sees all the kids in the house and starts to go ballistic. GET OUT!!! its not FREE! He starts chasing all the kids out, I hear the kids
I angled over to the side of the street, ran past, and without breaking stride snatched it out of her hand!
